When I learned that Guns N' Roses was coming to town for a 2 night stopover, I decided that it was time to pull on the old Warrant shirt, my leather pants (with a kielbasa strategically placed) and some shit kickers. I also knew that the Aquanet had to be in full effect, so I plastered my hair down fully covering my face and put an unlit cigarette in my mouth attempting to look like an 80's rock star sitting in the Rainbow Bar and Grill in LA. Instead I stopped at the Rainbow Bar and Grill here in Vegas to take a squirt (which took 35 minutes because my leather pants were so tight), and walked out into a crowd of washed up groupies and ex-rockers. I gave a smirk to some guy and calmly lit my cigarette attempting to be a badass: Bad idea! The Aquanet in my hair didn't like the flame, and my head instantly became a ball of fire as people cheered and I ran to the bar to extinguish the fire in a bucket of ice. I smiled, waved and calmly walked out while my scalp screamed in agony. I was now 45 minutes late for the estimated curtain call, but it was G n Fucking R we are talking about here! There'd still be another 45 minutes to go until they hit the stage, right? WRONG!

As I strolled in to The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel, I was greeted by a guitar solo by Jesus on earth, Robin Finck. The guy looks like Jesus meets Chris Robinson, wears thermal underwear with a massive belt, and handles the Ax better than Slash does (yes I said it). After a solo that shredded all of our faces, Axl comes back out and gets Beatle'esque on us with Live And Let Die. I hate to say it, but Axl looks completely sober, in good shape and his voice sounds like it's fresh from the studio back in 88 after recording Appetite For Destruction!

I can go into great detail with a full review, but I'll spare you. Here are some highlights:

- The soundman fucks up and Axl's screaming wail disappears. A pissed off Axl walks off the stage and I'm thinking the show is over. Luckily I think he was just sucking oxygen in the corner in between screeches, since he was leaving the stage constantly for the entire 2 hour and 15 minute show. I didn’t give a shit… There were 7 other people on stage, and if oxygyn will keep his voice going, I’m all for it!

- Robin Finck and Richard Fortus scorching our eyebrows off with a solo featuring Don't Cry and a cover of "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera that actually sounded amazingly....Beautiful.

- The drunk mullet headed redneck behind me that could not stop stumbling into me and challenging me to duels. He seemed to like me even less after his equally drunk girlfriend slammed into me, groped my kielbasa and told her man that she'd be going home with me that night. I then turned her around like a top in his direction, she attempted to walk back and she fell flat on her face.

- A fan threw a bottle at Bumblefoot during the band introductions... Axl paused, laughed and told him that he had bad aim. What the shit happened to Old School Axl that would have jumped off stage and jammed the mic stand up his ass?!

- Axl jumping on top of a grand piano for the most emotional rendition of The Blues I've ever seen. His voice was in top form, the crowd was into it, and he didn't fall off in a drunken stupor like he would have 10 years ago.

- Axl chucked his mic stand and almost took Brian out. A normally stone faced Brian gave a smile, while thanking God that his front teeth were spared thanks to his symbol blocking Axl's poor aim.

- Confetti rained from the ceiling during the entire encore, thus making it impossible to see the stage. I really hope the band was playing, and that I wasn't just going apeshit along with a track as if I were at an Ashley Simpson concert.

- After Paradise City was over, Axl chucked his mic into the crowd. I think some poor kid lost an eye or something, and the security guard ended up confiscating the mic anyways. All in good fun, right?

All in all, I'd have to say that this show trumped any performances of the past. The new larger band is much tighter, Axl's new found appreciation for performing makes for a great vocal performance, the energy is fiercer than ever, and we may even get a chance to purchase Chinese Democracy one of these days if it's ever released!

FYI, the new band consists of:
Axl Rose (fucking AXL ROSE!)
Robin Finck (guitarist)
Ron Thal (guitarist)
Richard Fortus (rhythm guitarist)
Tommy Stinson (bass)
Brian Mantia (drums)
Dizzy Reed (keys)
Chris Pitman (keys/synth)